Jennifer Aniston Hot Bikini

Jennifer Aniston

Bells Are Ringing Alert™:
A ring for Jen!

Publication: In Touch
Date: 10 Oct. 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays! Three different stories about Jennifer Aniston's alleged upcoming wedding this week, but only In Touch makes it the biggest story on the cover. Here are the headlines.

Inside the romantic proposal
A "unique" and "meaningful" ring
She calls Justin her "soul mate"
Finally! A long-time friend shares how they fell in love on the set!

Maybe it's just me, but seeing so many quotation marks around words makes it hard to take this story at face value.

Damn You Skinny Alert Hollywood's extreme diets

Damn You Skinny Alert™:
Hollywood's extreme diets

Publication: OK!

Date: 5 September 2011

A quick scan of the label list shows that Damn You Skinny™ stories are more than twice as common as Damn You Fat™ stories, roughly as common as Bun In The Oven Alerts™. OK! has three women on the cover this week, Gwyneth Paltrow, LeAnn Rimes and Angelina Jolie, with a passel of headlines that aren't connected to specific people, hoping to get someone to open the magazine and read it. In my case, as usual, this clever plan did not work.

Here are the headlines.

Hollywood's most extreme diets
Exercising at midnight
Eating only baby food
190 calories per meal
Who's being healthy and who's in danger!

Angelina Jolie

Publication: Star
Date: 26 Sept. 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays! Yet again, Angelina Jolie is excoriated for her weight, which Star says is down to 94 lbs.

Angelina Jolie

Fussin' and Feudin' Alert™:
Angelina targets Jen's new man YET AGAIN.

Publication: National Enquirer
Date: 3 Oct. 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays! Say what you will about the National Enquirer. I have probably said something worse. If they have a saving grace, it's that their stories are usually not just re-hashes of stuff that's already been printed elsewhere. Even when they cover the same material, they usually put a meaner spin on it. This week, they have Angelina Jolie trying to get between Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux. Here are the headlines.

Angie wants Jen's new man!
Explosive fight after Angelina invites Justin to dinner & offers him movie role
Jen rages: "Keep your hands off of him!"

Bun in the oven alert More stories about Jennifer Aniston's ovaries

Publications: Us Weekly, Star, Weekly Life & Style
Date: 5 Sept. 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays! No set of unused ovaries have been the focus of more speculation than those of Jennifer Aniston over the past few years, and this week we get three more stories saying she is definitely pregnant. Looking online, I have not seen the denials of this particular round of rumors, but she did deny the rumors from earlier this month. Here are the headlines.

Us Weekly: Jen's Baby Countdown
she suddenly quit smoking and drinking
Decorating a new home with Justin
And now, weight gain and morning sickness
Weekly Life & Style: Fertility doctor gives Jen the good news
It's Twins!
Her bump gets bigger
World exclusive
Star: First look!
Jen's baby nurser